


won the battle (but lost the heart)

by hollow_city



Series: in this house, we eat brains (and solve murders) [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), iZombie (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Family Issues, Gen, Mild Gore, Minor Violence, One Shot, Secret Identity, Visions, Zombies, again it's just brains because zombies, jason can be very dramatic, oh boy do they have issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 20:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollow_city/pseuds/hollow_city
Summary: jason encounters bruce for the first time since his death.





	won the battle (but lost the heart)

**Author's Note:**

> hey, look who's back, after nine whole months. wow. it's been a while. i am so sorry. but i'm gonna be honest with you, i haven't even finished season three... which is why i'm writing this particular part the way i have. please, just take this, i'm suffering.  
> (title is from ghosts by banners.)

-

Jason has kept his distance from both Bats and Birds alike. He doesn't want anything to do with them, not yet. He's still trying to decide how he wants to go about that.

He knows that he'll have to do something, because he can't avoid them forever, especially not when he's piece by piece taking out the underworld and gathering it into his iron fist. They're bound to come after him sometime, so his options are going to dwindle the longer he waits. 

But right now, he has other things on his mind. 

He's on his way home from Liv's after eating dinner with her, traveling through the city by roof. He never wears his suit into her apartment, he either doesn't wear it at all or leaves it in a well-hidden and protected place, because he doesn't want to drag her into this. That's not to say she doesn't know. She knows, and she doesn't mind, but that doesn't mean Jason wants people going after her because they know she has a connection to him. He  _especially_ doesn't want Batman to find out that they know each other. 

Liv is probably the only sense of normalcy he has left in his life, and he appreciates that. She's where he gets his brains from, but he's also particular about that. He's particular about which ones he'll take and which ones he won't because he still hates having to do it with a passion. He's accepted that he isn't alive anymore, but that doesn't mean he's all that okay with the way he keeps himself in the limbo in which they operate. 

Liv understands, so they often don't talk about it. Jason prefers the pretend-it-doesn't-exist method of dealing with his problems.

The only problems he's really had are the visions. Liv and Ravi had explained those to him, but for the longest time, he didn't experience any. Oftentimes some personality traits of the person who the brain once belonged to would rub off on him and he wouldn't realize until one of them informed him, but those aren't that big of a deal for him, considering that they fade away after a little while. 

But when the visions finally arrive, he finds that he doesn't hate anything more. And he hates a lot of things at the moment, so that's saying something. 

He doesn't like that sometimes they hit without any warning and he comes out of them incredibly confused. Sometimes they hit when he's in the middle of eating hot-sauce covered pizza and sometimes they hit while he's grappling between buildings. He's yet to get hurt because of it, but he's worried that one day it'll happen.

Just another reason for him to put off eating brains as much as possible. 

Thankfully, the visions fade away after a while, too, but they're still horrible while they last.

Especially when the brain came from a murder victim. Jason doesn't appreciate dying over and over again. He died once, and it was enough to screw up his brain to what he believes is beyond repair. 

Today, he and Liv had ordered pizza and covered it with the brain of a former prisoner who had been murdered in his cell. Jason didn't ask why, and Liv didn't offer to tell him. They had dipped it in their usual concoction of hot-sauce that may have sent a living person into a frenzy and proceeded to watch horrible zombie movies. When Jason had learned of Liv's favorite pastime of picking fun at the inaccuracies in zombie movies, he'd been all too eager to join.

But now that it's just past ten and the only thing allowing him to see anything is the night vision function in his helmet, Jason wishes he'd asked. Because he feels pretty horrible, and he knows it must be the brain. He knows he isn't the pinnacle of good mental health, but he also knows that this empty feeling in his chest and the prickly feeling on the back of his neck isn't normal. He's never this... heavy. 

His feet almost clip the edge of the roof and he almost trips, but at the last second, he rights himself. With a quiet curse, he pauses to take several deep breaths. He debates calling Liv and asking her who the hell they ate, but before he can activate the call in his helmet, a shadow flits across the edge of the roof. He barely catches it in the corner of his eye, but he does catch it. 

Jason's hands immediately stray to the guns strapped to his hips, but he doesn't pull them out. He's not sure he'll need them just yet. He uses real bullets, but he only kills the ones who deserve it. Petty robbers breaking into convenience stores aren't worth the money it takes to replace the bullets. Human traffickers and drug lords, on the other hand...

The shadow appears in front of him in the time it takes for him to blink, and then Jason is on the ground. The air rushes from his lungs, but he doesn't let it stop him from launching himself back to his feet. 

He knows what this is, and he's honestly surprised that Bruce didn't find him sooner. But really, with how he's feeling at the moment, does it really have to be now? Why couldn't it have been in, say, three more days? 

Oh well. 

"Nice to finally see you, Bats," Jason says, his voice full of faux friendliness. "I've been waiting."

He blocks a few blows, but he's tired and he's so, _so,_ heavy, so he's not at his best. Batman gets a hand around his throat and tosses him clear across the roof. Jason's back hits the hard surface and once against the oxygen is shoved from his lungs. This time, he sucks it back in with a loud gasp, and then...

_He's on his back, but he isn't on the roof. He's in a dingy alleyway, broken glass littered around him._

_An alarm is going off somewhere above him, but his ears are ringing, so he can't really tell where. He watches as a figure leaps from the broken window above him and glides down to land beside him. A hand wraps around his throat and suddenly he's no longer on the ground, but being slammed against the wall._

_"You'll tell me what I need to know, or next time I won't be so generous," Batman growls, far too close to his face for comfort._

_"I-I don't know anything, I swear!" he's stammering frantically, coughing when the hand tightens. "You got the wrong guy! I didn't do nothin'!"_

_The hand tightens again, and Batman makes a low noise deep in his throat._

_He's spitting out words again, no relief in sight. "Okay, I-I know, I did something, but I'm not- I would never- not kids! Please!"_

And then Jason is on the roof again. His chest is heaving and it takes a few moments for his eyes to see clearly again, but he knows exactly what has just happened. 

He's had a vision at the absolute  _worst_ possible time. He's had a vision of a criminal who was taken out by the very man standing above him right now. Batman has zip ties around his wrists and is working on his ankles, but hasn't gone for Jason's helmet yet. He's particularly thankful for that one because there are so many fail-safes in his helmet that he might as well just walk off the roof and wait for his body to stitch itself back together. The tiny bomb or the electricity would have the same effect as the fall, if he's being honest. 

Jason takes a moment to consider what's happening right now, and once it really dawns on him, a burning anger bubbles in his chest so strong that his breaths turn into wheezes and his eyes illuminate dark red. 

He can't  _believe_ this is happening. Bruce, of all people, is about to arrest him. Even after he's dead, he just can't escape the guy! No matter what he does, Bruce is there, ruining his plans.

With a furious growl, he pulls his hands apart, snapping open the zip-ties like they're made of paper. He leaps to his feet and slams into Batman, sending the vigilante skidding backward. 

"You need to stay away from me!" he shouts after him, charging at the man. 

They end up on the ground, grappling with each other and landing vicious hits. 

"Never," Batman hisses. "You're tearing my city apart."

Jason lets out a hysterical laugh, barely twitching when a Batarang is embedded in his thigh. He reaches down and plucks it out, bends it in half, and whips it back at the man who put it there.

"What the fuck are you going on about, old man? I'm making it better!" he retorts, his voice raising more and more until his anger causes it to shake. "You won't do what needs to be done, so someone else has to!"

Batman is back on his feet in seconds, gripping a few more Batarangs in his hands.

"And that's supposed to be you?" he asks. Jason's breaths escape in infuriated growls as he stares down the man who he once called his father. 

He throws his hands up. "Nobody else seems to wanna do it."

Batman lets loose two of the Batarang's in his hand and Jason isn't in the right mind to bother dodging. He lets them hit and pulls them out mere seconds later. He lunges for Batman, using the bloody Batarang to slash straight across the bat on his chest. With his sense of strength in this state, the blade cuts clear through, causing blood to bubble up from the gash. 

"What are you?" Batman staggers back, throwing as many projectiles as he can.

"What you're not," Jason says, cryptic as can be, before he throws both Batarang's at the man. He dodges, but when he turns back to fight again, Jason is already well on his way away. 

His chest heaves and while he knows he doesn't need oxygen to function anymore, he doesn't like the tight feeling, the scratchy feeling in his throat.

He runs as fast as his legs will carry him, his arms pumping and his boots smacking against the roof. He takes several turns until he's circled back around to his current safehouse, and watches from behind the ledge as Batman streaks in the other direction, seemingly having given up for the night.

Jason's won this battle, but he doesn't feel like he's achieved anything.

As the red fades from his eyes and his breath steadies out, a sound that toes the line between a laugh and a sob escapes. He squeezes his eyes shut as he leans back against the ledge, tearing his helmet off. He still has a domino on underneath, but it doesn't stop him from pressing a hand over his face to stop any other sounds from escaping.

Bruce isn't allowed to make him feel like this anymore. He's not allowed. Jason repeats this to himself over and over until his breath is back to normal and all that's left is the heavy feeling left from the horrid brain he'd eaten. 

He's won this battle, he thinks to himself, but somehow, it only feels like a step backward.

But it doesn't matter. He has some planning to do. 

-

**Author's Note:**

> i'd just like to clarify that i do not plan to make this shippy, liv and jason are just best buds.


End file.
